Outtakes and Mistakes: Its All About Jean!
by PearlyJammer
Summary: The X2 rewrite, in the same spirit and manor as the orriginal 'Outtakes and Mistakes' series.


Title:  Outtakes and Mistakes: It's All About Jean  (The X2 Rewrite)

Author:  Autumn  

Email: autumnleaves@autumnpenguins.com

Summary:  Same as always, except we begin exploiting the many plot holes, and nonsensical lines, setups, character changes of X2. 

Rating: PG-13

A/N:  WARNING, contains spoilers for X2.  

********************************  

        The dishrag formerly known as Rogue (hereafter referred to as TDRFKAR) was sitting in the living room with her bubble butt boyfriend Bobby.  Everything in their five- minute- old relationship was going along just peechily, when a loud motor like noise began rumbling down the driveway.  TDRFKAR's eyes lit up in excitement and a low keening noise issued from her mouth.  Bubble butt Bobby scowled, already there was a threat to his relationship with the white striped girl.  He put on his most menacing look, which was only slightly scarier looking than a giggling Carebear and ran after HIS girlfriend.  

        "Logey-poo!"  TDRFKAR cried out and flung herself at Logan, regardless of the fact that she had lethal skin, which wasn't entirely covered up.  

        'Logey-poo' however wasn't paying much attention to the young woman he had risked his neck for-repeatedly only a week before.  He absently sidestepped the woman's attack and she consequently hit the ground with a thud.  "Oh hey kid.  Have you seen my lo- I mean Jean around?"  

          TDRFKAR's face crumbled from the lack of attention from the man who really held her heart.  Her lower lip trembled and she began wailing loudly.  Luckily for her, the back pocket boyfriend arrived just in time to pick up the pieces of the crushed girl.  "I'm Bobby.  I'm her boyfriend."  The teen began, shaking the distracted man's hand.  "Stay away from her, or I'll freeze more than just your hand."  The ice-blue eyed teen threatened. 

          Logan finally turned his attention to the younger man.  "You're Jean's boyfriend, what happened to Scott?"  

         "No, I'm her boyfriend." Bobby said, indicating the still crying woman next to him.  

         "Oh.  Have you seen Jean?"  Logan asked Bobby who was currently placing a paciphier in TDRFKAR's mouth.  

         "No.  It's a big school.  Now go away, you're threatening my manhood."  

          Logan walked away, muttering 'must find Jean' under his breath, completely oblivious to everyone else around him.  And suddenly, there she was, the love of his life, the cream of his crop, the apple of his eye, the reason he was breathing-Dr. Jean Grey.  "Jean" he croaked, his voice cracking with all the emotions he had suddenly gained in the past week and a half.  

       "Hi Logan, how nice to toy with- I mean see you again."  The red haired woman beamed before narrowing her eyes in a very birdlike manner.  "Did you find out anything about your past?"  

       Tears suddenly sprang up into his eyes, but he bravely fought them back.  A kinder, gentler Wolverine could still be a bad ass when he wished to be.  He cocked his eyebrow, looked her in the eye and said, "The base was destroyed, and nothing was left."  

       Jean just laughed.  "Did you bother looking for it underground?"  

      "Yeah Logan, don't you know that all secret bases are hidden?"  Storm asked, gliding in from behind Jean. 

      "There's permafrost year round big guy, it stops the people like you from detecting the highly insidious nature of the base below the well ruined surface."  Jean threw in. 

      Logan seethed, how could he have been such an idiot?  "You mean I traveled all that way to find nothing, and you people knew where it was all along and you never told me?"  

       TDRFKAR stopped her sniveling long enough to raise her hand timidly.  "I knew where it was Logan, but I didn't want to tell you.  I thought Bobby might get jealous."  

      "That's right, I would have."  Bobby agreed.  

      "Well fine, if you people are going to be dicks to me, I'll just go sulk.  And then I'll smoke a cigar, flirt with Jean and talk to the professor who I trust with my life from now on."  Logan huffed and lumbered up the stairs to find a quiet room to brood.  

      "Logan!"  Storm called after the burly man.  

      "We need you to baby sit tonight.  As you can see, our oldest charges act like children, and we need a big strong manly man around in case someone stages a sneak attack on the mansion."  Jean spoke. 

      "Where are you gonna be?"  

      "Off somewhere so I can make a grand entrance later on and show everyone up.  Proving once again that it's all about me."  Jean answered nonchalantly.  

      "Jean, I want to kiss you."  Logan said, dropping to his knees and making himself look like a total ass. 

      "Maybe I'll let you.  But you're too scruffy and smell bad, take a shower."  Jean said, smiling charmingly. 

      The adults departed the room, and Bobby was left with TDRFKAR who was still carrying on like she was having the life sucked out of her-again.  But he didn't mind, because he was Bobby and she was his girlfriend, and for the first time in his life he had a remote chance of being laid, even if it would most likely kill him.        


End file.
